Don’t stand, don’t walk, don’t work, don’t… don’t…don’t.

CAL is the ‘DO-er’ as refer to him, not me. He and his family have this natural urge to never sit still and must always have a project in progress or a party to host with guests to entertain to keep them company but also very busy. They love the buzz of being surrounded by others and a quiet house might make them crazy. My family and I  on the other hand savor freedom from commitments, love to have time in solitude with a book or blog, and actually enjoy being alone or in utter silence.

So all that to say thank goodness it is me not him. This morning we saw my high-risk OB for a follow-up visit. Last week, (on CAL’s 29th birthday!) we went in for them to check on some soft marker concerns – which had wonderfully (praise God) disappeared. We were utterly relived that neither of our babies have Down Syndrome. In addition to the Choroid Plexus Cyst that was spotted  my maternal side makes me high risk for chromosomal defects such as Downs. I had a sweet Uncle named Michael (my mom’s brother) who had Down Syndrome. With this knowledge I was prepared for the possibility but also I believe I have a softened heart because of my experiences with him growing up. So as relieved as we were to be able to move beyond that hurdle and those concerns they did unfortunately find another issue. Isn’t that just like Doctors? Give you fears and anxieties and then ease them only to pile it back on with fresh ones. Had this been years ago we never would have known any of these potential pitfalls but that is the curse that comes with the blessing that is technology.

Today I was shocked that I was placed on bedrest at 21 Weeks + 5 Days. How do I feel about it? First there were the tears. It is overwhelming to think about the health of our babies and what this all means. Second was stress and pannick. What about work? What about my schedules, plans and routines? What about being bored? What about finances? On all these fronts I feel powerless. They are all valid conciderations but obviously the paramount of importance is to preserve our babies health and maintain them in utero by whatever means necessary for as long as possible. In these moments I am grateful for my faith because I am not sure how people with out it would get through such a powerless and frightening time. I intend to take it day by day.